January 2026
So 2025 has gone. I can’t remember if it was a good bad or mixed year as my memory is so dicey now. Anyway what is certain is we have 2026 and Trump
This morning I watched [belatedly] the discussion on Venezuela in the Economist and feel that much of the world is now in peril as Trump realises how he can use his power. I don’t think the UK is a great risk but it is surrounded by a world that is. How do we get to a stage that we have ended up with an all powerful Trump. And a Trump who is influencing what any politician says, or acts on.
I wonder also what I can and should do to try and improve the situation. I feel very powerless and can’t even think of a little thing I should do. It needs now to be little because I haven’t the energy or stamina to take on any project to try and make the world a little better as I have in the past. So I sit here much of the time feeling useless and depressed and wishing to die.
The good thing is that I haven’t had a fall now for over a year in spite of increasing instability. I don’t use a stick inside usually as I know where things are I can hang on to if needed, but the latest is that I now feel from time to time that I am falling backwards. And increasingly I feel that I am not quite in this world, sort of just looking in on it.
I am very lucky to have Julie and Nico here to provide me not only with practical care but also real care and consideration. They are extraordinarily thinking about my needs and aiming to meet them.
So every day we go out, perhaps just for a short walk, or for coffee, a show, visit to the market. And then other wonderful usually young friends come to stay for a few days, or take me out. And neighbours call in to share news.
I am surrounded by love, consideration, and even fun. So why can’t I just relax and enjoy it instead of feeling that enough is enough.